Fund Sruly: Give Generously, Ask No Questions

FUND THE SRULY

Every dollar goes directly to Sruly, because this is literally just his PayPal. There is no board of directors. There is barely a plan. There is, unfortunately, a Sruly.

$3.50 raised Goal: $1,000,000

Progress bar not drawn to scale. Progress bar barely drawn at all.

TIER 0

$0.50

The Pity

Fifty cents, dropped like loose change into the void. He will still text you "thank you king" with three typos.

Give $0.50

TIER I

The Acknowledgment

You acknowledge that Sruly exists. This is more than most people are willing to do.

Give $1

TIER II

Gas Station Sponsor

Funds one (1) full gas station run: a drink, a snack, and a long look at the novelty hat rack.

Give $5

TIER III

$18

The Watermelon Fund

Covers a replacement helmet-grade watermelon plus carving losses. Structural integrity not guaranteed.

Give $18

TIER IV

$100

Executive Producer

Your name gets said out loud, once, in a car, during a selfie. He will mispronounce it. This is the highest honor we offer.

Give $100

TIER V

$1000

The Intervention

At this level you are no longer a donor, you are an enabler. A framed photo of the watermelon incident ships to your home. Frame not included. Photo not included. Nothing ships.

Give $1000

Where Your Money Goes

Full financial transparency, prepared by our accounting department (Sruly, on his phone, in the car).

Gas station snacks38%

Replacement watermelons22%

Novelty headwear19%

Gas (to drive somewhere and take a selfie)14%

Administrative fees (also snacks)7%

Figures audited annually by the cat, who has issued a formal statement of no confidence.